Thursday, October 13, 2016

Life, Death and the thinning veil

This simple word is enough to shake people to their core, but for me, it is a word that brings comfort.
This is where you get a peek at my weirdness folks. Hang on.
Ever since I was a child, I have been around death and had a keen sense of spirits. When I was very young, maybe 3 or 4, I started talking about an imaginary friend name, Leah. I had never heard that name before. I wasn't making her up. Leah was a girl that looked just like me that followed me around. I was an only child, so having her around was a blessing to me. I loved Leah. My family thought my having an imaginary friend was cute at first, until they heard the name and realized I'd never heard it before. Then, it struck them as odd. I don't remember how long she stayed in my life, but one day she was just gone and didn't ever come back. I didn't get upset about it. It was like I understood she had other places to be. I just wanted another friend. Leah made an impression on myself and my family, and to this day, they bring her up in conversations from time to time. Was she a ghost? I don't know for sure, but I truly believe she was.

My mother worked in nursing homes as a CNA for most of my young life. She was a single mother, so during the summer she would often bring me in as a volunteer so she could have somewhere for me to go when she didn't have child care. I was in elementary school, so I did this from the ages of about 6 to 10. I would paint nails, talk to patients and assist my mother in any way I was allowed to. Now, my family is very musical and most people that know me know that I sing. I have been singing ever since I can remember. Not to toot my own horn, but during my elementary school years my vocal abilities were rated at a 98% by a state wide honors chorus where I represented my school two years in a row.  So, naturally, the patients loved it when I sang for them. During meal times or leisure times, my mother would play the piano and I would sing hymns for the patients. I spent 12 hour shifts at the nursing home and everyone there knew who I was. And I knew them.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, 'What a fantastic learning experience that must have been', and you would be correct. However, with all of those friendships that I made with those patients there was a lot of loss as well. All of my friends died. All of them. And I was the one that held their hand as they drew their last breath. See, the fact that I was a songbird was so popular with the patients that most of them, while on their death beds, requested that I come sing to them as they died. Their families described me as an angel singing them from Earth to the angels in Heaven.

See, one of the things my mother taught me was that death is a part of life. I was raised in a Christian home, so we believed that death was a positive thing for people that shared our faith, which most of these patients did. Therefore, there was no reason to be scared. And I wasn't. I never have been. Sad? Yes. Absolutely. Death is sad. It's saying goodbye to someone, at least in this life. But, does it scare me? No. Never. Not even today as a Wiccan.
I've always felt comfortable with death and my mother has always told me that I seemed like a morose child. I have always been interested in death and the darker things in life. I fully believe that some people are born with a witch's spirit...and I believe I am one of them.

I have always seen "things that aren't really there" and I have always been aware of the presence of spirits and energy around me. As a child, I could tell which people around me had good intentions and bad, and while that gift has started to fade as an adult, it still makes an appearance every now and then. It's no wonder that this time of the year, when the veil is thin, is one of my favorite times of the year. I feel at home. I feel connected to spirit in a deeper way than I am the rest of the year.

In conclusion, death is a reminder of my mortality. And I am ok with that. It reminds me not to take things so seriously. It reminds me that nobody gets out alive. We all die. It reminds me to cherish my loved ones, because they can be snatched up by death's grip in an instant. It reminds me to love harder each and every day.
Blessed be my lovelies.


  1. That was a delightful post of yours to read Jess my good friend, thank you, I truly enjoyed it!!!

    I have been communicating with those who have left their bodily form from the day I was born. Not only do I hear and feel their presence, but I also see them as well. It's one of the gifts I seem to have been born with. And as for death, certainly there will be a time this physical form I'm in will perish, but I believe I'm never going to die because I'm always going to be the Witch that I am.



    1. It's a beautiful gift to have Lon!